Positive Adoption Language
The way we talk—and the words we choose—say a lot about what we think and value. When we use positive adoption language, we say that adoption is a way to build a family just as birth is. Both are important, but one is not more important than the other.
Choose the following positive adoption language instead of the negative talk that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption language, you’ll reflect the true nature of adoption, free of innuendo.
Words not only convey facts, they also evoke feelings. When a TV movie talks about a "custody battle" between "real parents" and "other parents," society gets the wrong impression that only birthparents are real parents and that adoptive parents aren’t real parents. Members of society may also wrongly conclude that all adoptions are "battles."
Positive adoption language can stop the spread of misconceptions such as these. By using positive adoption language, we educate others about adoption. We choose emotionally "correct" words over emotionally-laden words. We speak and write in positive adoption language with the hopes of impacting others so that this language will someday become the norm.
Positive Language Negative Language
Birthparent Real parent
Biological parent Natural parent
Birth child Own child
My child Adopted child; Own child
Born to unmarried parents Illegitimate
Terminate parental rights Give up
Make an adoption plan Give away
To parent To keep
Waiting child Adoptable child; available
Biological or birthfather Real father
Making contact with Reunion
Parent Adoptive parent
Intercountry adoption Foreign adoption
Adoption triad Adoption triangle
Permission to sign a release Disclosure
Search Track down parents
Child placed for adoption An unwanted child
Court termination Child taken away
Child with special needs Handicapped child
Child from abroad Foreign child
Was adopted Is adopted
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©1992–2003 Adoptive Families Magazine. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part is prohibited.
Reprinted from OURS Magazine, May/June 1992 http://www.adoptivefamilies.com/
Transracial Adoptions
This page is still under construction; please check back soon for information on transracial adoptions.